


When You Wish

by LilLesa



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst with a Hopeful Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 19:23:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17289929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilLesa/pseuds/LilLesa
Summary: Follows the events of "Someone to Watch Over Me." Seven reflects on her reasons for telling Harry he was not a candidate. She had made mistakes before, they had never caused her pain.





	When You Wish

**Author's Note:**

> Some heavy Seven and Harry angst. I always felt that Harry had been treated unfairly during the series, even by his friends. I also wondered about some of the other crews reactions to events that occurred. Plus I thought that more of the crew should have been opposed to some of Janeway's decisions, not just Chakotay.

During Voyager’s original run Michael Hollihan wrote a story called, “I Wish, I Hope, I Wish.” It takes place immediately following Seven of Nine’s first date in ‘Someone to Watch Over me.’ In it, Harry is having a private pity party in the Mess Hall and Seven joins him. She explained her reasons why Harry was not a candidate. After reading the story I contacted Michael to ask permission to write a sequel. Michael’s story is not posted on this site but is still available on the Trekiverse site.

Thank you to Michael for graciously allowing me to write a sequel to his story.

"When You Wish"  
by Lesa L  
A sequel to "I Wish, I Hope, I Wish"  
By Michael Hollihan

Seven of Nine stood behind the Mess Hall counter, efficiently assembling the utensils she would require to brew a pot of tea. The soft clicking as she placed the items before her seemed magnified in the empty room.

She could have simply replicated a cup of tea in Cargo Bay two, but the loud hum of silence, which has begun to bother her these last few weeks, had driven her to the more comfortable quiet of the deserted Mess Hall. The rest of the crew would either be on duty or at the holodeck celebration so the likelihood of other crew members there was slight.

Despite the Captain's assurances, she had never developed a 'taste' for coffee and Neelix had recently instructed her in the proper technique to brew tea. She found the process, as well as the drink, to be soothing.

A chirp told her that the water on the stove had reached boiling temperature. After spooning the precise amount of tea leaves into the stainless steel kettle she carefully poured the heated liquid in. The tea would need to seep four point three minutes for optimum flavor.

Now there was nothing to do but wait. She had four point three minutes in which to reflect on her failure.

She had hoped for a different outcome to the day’s events, as had Ensign Paris and Lieutenant Torres. Their planning had proved fruitless. She was alone this evening, Ensign Kim was not. She focused on trying to ignore the dull pain in her abdomen that had become a seemingly permanent part of her existence.

Her eyes searched out the table that she had shared with Ensign Kim forty-two days ago, the evening of her first unfortunate date. The evening she had calmly explained to him that she valued his friendship too much to risk attempting a romantic affiliation with him, it had been the last time they had shared a table together.

At the time it had been a logical decision. She had watched romantic relationships aboard Voyager falter, people who were formerly friends become at best, indifferent to each other, at worst, enemies. She had researched relationships in-depth and foolishly believed that her studies made her knowledgeable.

Finally, she had come to understand that she had neglected one intangible thing, emotion. The feelings people had for each other that made them want to try relationships that could possibly fail. The need people had to be together, to share their lives with other individuals in ways that simple friendship could not match.

Realization had come too slowly. Shortly after her conversation with Ensign Kim he had began command duty on Gamma shift. It had been a relief at the time, being alone in Astrometrics had given her time to analyze her highly unsuccessful date with Lieutenant Chapman and reinforce her conclusion that there were no suitable mates for her aboard Voyager.

At first she had reveled in the solitude, Astrometrics was more than her work place it was her refuge. She had not realized how much time she had spent working with Ensign Kim until it ended. Commander Chakotay had used the Ensign's absence to send several crew members in to train with her, accepting no arguments as to the fitness for duty of the assigned crew.

Although she had been aboard Voyager over a year, most of her 'co-workers' were still openly nervous around her. Three of the male crew members however had appeared to have taken the knowledge of her date with Lieutenant Chapman to mean that she was now ready to date, anyone. Several times she had found her personal space significantly invaded and had been forced to clearly define occupational boundaries.

It occurred to her how easily she had accepted Ensign Kim's presence in Astrometrics. Perhaps it was because he had been with her when she was new to the ship and had learned to work closely with her. For whatever reason, they were able to work side by side for hours, although he did continue to attempt to engage her in irrelevant conversation.

Sadly, she acknowledged that irrelevant conversation was no longer a problem. Although Ensign Kim had returned to alpha shift and has resumed his position on the bridge as well as periodically working with her in Astrometrics, he now rarely spoke about matters not pertaining to their work or Voyager. Correction, he did continue to speak about irrelevant matters, but he no longer directed those conversations at her.

More often his conversational companions were some of the members of gamma shift that Commander Chakotay had rotated onto alpha shift. These new companions included Crewmen U'Lanai and Boylan, Ensign Trumari and most notably, Ensign Marla Jenkins.

The chirp of a combadge frequently interrupted their work now. Seven had come to believe that none of Ensign Kim's new friends were able to make meal plans, choose holodeck programs or decide on other entertainment without consulting him first. Ensign Jenkins also 'dropped by' Astrometrics occasionally on her way to other areas of the ship. Several times she had taken Ensign Kim aside for whispered conversations which usually resulted in the Ensign laughing or looking extremely pleased with himself.

Matters had come to a head nine days earlier, after Ensign Jenkins had appeared for the second time in four hours, Seven had informed her that unless her business directly concerned Astrometrics there was no reason for her repeated appearances. Further, that if the nonessential distractions over the combadge were not ended she would inform Commander Chakotay of the disturbances and he would take proper action.

Ensign Jenkins had appeared frightened, moving closer to Ensign Kim who had placed his arm protectively on her back. Then he focused his attention at her. For the first time his tone of voice toward her became openly hostile. He had angrily informed her that she had no right to threaten his friends and that she was out of line.

Scathingly, she had retorted that 'he' was out of line, that Astrometrics was a working area not a picnic on the holodeck; furthermore, that his actions were unprofessional. That comment had affected him, he whispered something to Ensign Jenkins who had nodded and left. Then they returned to their duties. There had been no further conversation beyond matters pertaining to the work at hand, either then or since.

She had found herself thinking about their previous time spent working together and wishing that he would attempt some irrelevant conversation, she’d even made some halting attempts herself. He was too polite to simply ignore her but his curt responses triggered an unpleasant pressure in her abdomen. She overlooked his conduct toward her; she had treated him far worse since she'd arrived on Voyager.

It was another darker aspect of Ensign Kim's new found relationships that brought matters to the forefront. Voyager was traveling through a particularly hostile area of space and the Captain and crew had had to engage in some questionable maneuverings to deal with the aliens in the region. For reasons she could not fathom, Ensign Kim himself had begun masterminding and volunteering for what Ensign Paris dubbed 'suicide missions.'

Ensign Kim's time in sickbay had more than doubled and twice in the last two weeks he'd been transported to Sick Bay close to death. Frequently lately her attention was divided as she covertly monitored Sick Bay while overseeing Astrometrics. The Doctor had begun keeping an on-going injury 'tally' board in Sickbay and had even voiced his professional opposition to several of the Ensign's 'schemes.'

The Captain had ignored the Doctor's warnings. Voyager's return home had become her obsession, and her frustration with what she perceived to be the non-support of the others had become evident. She had praised Ensign Kim's suggestions at a meeting two days ago and had expressed annoyance when the other members of the Senior Staff and Seven had gone on record in opposition.

Ensign Kim had shown more than simple annoyance or frustration on that occasion. His anger had been evident and it appeared to be focused on Ensign Paris, Lieutenant Torres, and herself. Finally, she had felt compelled to do something she would never have considered previously, consult with Ensign Paris and Lieutenant Torres about the situation.

One evening, five days earlier she had appeared before Ensign Paris' quarters. She had ascertained that Lieutenant Torres was also present. Belatedly, she realized that she should have timed her appearance earlier in the evening as their disheveled appearance and the uneven buttoning of the Ensign's shirt indicated they had been otherwise occupied and had to hastily don clothing.

Quickly she had explained her reason for her intrusion and had been relieved to find that both the Ensign and the Lieutenant had been concerned and distressed by Ensign Kim's recent actions as well. Also, that they seemed ready to work with her because of their fears for their mutual friend. She learned many things from them that she had not known previously.

Ensign Kim was 'bucking' for a promotion. Also, that there were many crew members that did not agree with the Captain's policy regarding advancement. That resentment grew after the Captain's promotion of Commander Tuvok. That many people believed that Ensign Kim's service and commitment deserved recognition. That the group of crew members Ensign Kim had allied himself with were all, according to Lieutenant Torres, 'diehard Fleeters.' Most distressingly of all, they seemed to have chosen him as their ‘martyr to the cause.’

She'd also learned that both Ensign Paris and Lieutenant Torres believed that Ensign Kim's new attitude stemmed from what he had considered to be his failure to deal appropriately with his first command, when Voyager had encountered the 'smart bomb.' According to Lieutenant Torres who had worked the most with him during that time, he believed that he'd placed the ship and crew in danger.

That had been unsettling; she suspected that was not the only reason for the Ensign's new attitude. She'd felt compelled to explain what had happened between she and Ensign Kim the evening of her first date.

She'd known that Ensign Paris and Lieutenant Torres could still be harboring anger from her previous study of their mating habits. She'd felt both sets of eyes focused on her and experienced all the symptoms associated with embarrassment as she recited from memory her conversation with the Ensign.

Surprisingly, Lieutenant Torres seemed to understand her hesitation about a romantic relationship and hastened to clarify Seven's actions to a clearly disgusted Ensign Paris. She had tried to explain to her mate that there was danger in moving forward because there was so much to lose if it didn't work. Seven knew that she was not only referring to her own relationship with Ensign Kim but also their own earlier relationship. While she had always known them as an established couple, she knew from overheard conversations that their relationship had undergone many tumultuous episodes.

Thankfully the Lieutenant's words calmed her mate. Then Ensign Paris had turned to her and abruptly asked if it was only concern for Ensign Kim's safety that had brought her here? That had been a difficult question to answer. She had been forced to openly acknowledge issues that she had not wanted to admit even to herself.

She remembered swallowing down an obstruction in her throat before she could reply. "No, I do feel the loss of his presence in my life and I miss his friendship. I understand now that the decision I made about a suitable mate was in error. I also understand that I cannot rectify my previous decision now, due to the Ensign's relationship with Ensign Jenkins. However, it is the possible outcome to his current actions that made me approach you. The thought of what Voyager would be like if he is no longer a member of the crew is unacceptable to me."

Her answer seemed to satisfy them both. She had watched as the couple appeared to reach a decision together, without words. She saw between them a unity that all their heated disagreements and hostilities could not dampen. An emotion that she recognized as envy had surged through her; the Lieutenant had made the move that she had been unable to make. Because of that decision the couple before her shared their lives together. They were both friends and mates.

She'd then learned other things that she hadn't known previously; that despite what had occurred between she and Ensign Kim, he had been concerned enough for her to come to Sickbay to check on her health when she had been injured by the 'smart bomb.' The knowledge had warmed her even though she had wondered why the Doctor had not mentioned the Ensign's appearance when she had recovered.

She had also learned that Ensign Paris still played Parrises Squares with Ensign Kim twice a week. That during said games Ensign Kim had insisted that his relationship with Ensign Jenkins was casual although he knew that if he wished it could become romantic.

Just as quickly, a cold chill replaced the warmth as she related the encounter two days earlier in Astrometrics between, she, Ensign Kim and Ensign Jenkins.

Lieutenant Torres opined that she believed that part of the reason that Harry allied himself with the others was because they looked to him for leadership and openly respected his opinions, something that they, meaning she and Ensign Paris did not do. She'd gone on to say that his new friends made a place for them in their lives. Ensign Paris had appeared to be angered by his mate's remarks but she had forestalled his outburst by pointing out they pulled Harry back and forth, spending time with him when their relationship was not going well, and shutting him out when they were getting along. They all shared culpability in what had transpired.

Seven had felt a surge of guilt during the Lieutenant's comments. Her final words struck her almost as a physical blow, 'That's not the way that you treat a friend.' She'd closed her eyes against the pain as three words blotted out the confusion in her mind, words that she should had uttered to him before, 'I am sorry.'

Ensign Paris then outlined an idea he had developed. It involved an event on the holodeck that he and Neelix were planning. The ship's Morale Officer had felt that the Captain and the crew needed some distraction from what had become a relentless round of aggressive aliens and Voyager's dealings with them.

In honor of the Captain's 'traditional' upbringing Ensign Paris had gone to work on a holoprogram that she might enjoy, an old fashioned 'Founder's Day' celebration set in a small town in Indiana. It was to include a concert in the Town Square with performances by several crew members.

Seven had been aware of the planning for the event. The Doctor had approached her two days earlier to ask if she would be willing to sing with him, she had declined. After conveying that information to Ensign Paris he explained that she 'was' going to sing that evening and that she would ask Harry to accompany her. He had gone on to tell her that he would compile some appropriate songs and to 'just leave everything to him.' All she had to do was ask Harry for help.

Anxiety suffused her system at the Ensign's statement, it must have been openly apparent because Lieutenant Torres had even attempted to allay her fears by suggesting phrases that she could use when she requested Harry's assistance.

The next morning Ensign Paris had presented her with a standard oversize music PADD with the words and lyrics to the songs he had selected. He had gone on to tell her that the songs were “Schmaltzy as hell, but they fit the period and if you sing them with feeling Harry will eat'em up.” He had laughed at the startled expressions on her face and then wished for her to “Break a leg,” before returning to Sickbay.

During her assigned lunch break she had returned to Cargo Bay 2 to access the Starfleet databases. There she found that the phrase ‘Break a Leg,’ was an idiom used in the theater by performers to express, ‘Good Luck,’ which made even less sense than actually saying, ‘Good Luck.’ She found the Terran word, ‘Schmaltz,’ which was descended from Yiddish, an ancient Earth language. Literally, it referred to rendered chicken fat. Then the definition had gone on to say that it also referred to sentimental or florid music or art.

A soft hiss attracted her attention. The tea had finished seeping. She removed and disposed of the spent leaves and then poured the dark, steaming liquid into a cup. Carefully stirring one half teaspoon of sugar into her cup she sipped the beverage and thought again of her reaction to the songs Ensign Paris had provided.

Being for the most part, unfamiliar with 20th century music she'd been intrigued by the words. One song in particular seemed to evoke an emotional response and she'd found herself dwelling on the lyrics when she had returned to Astrometrics.

Apparently, she had not only been dwelling on the lyrics but also absently humming the melody aloud, judging by the look of frightened astonishment on the face of Crewman Celes. Two hours later the Crewman's shift was over and Harry had arrived to check the alignment of the Astrometric sensors.

After checking their sensor readings and running two unnecessary diagnostics, she steeled herself to broach the subject. He first appeared to have been rendered speechless at her request, and then seemed to grope for a response. Sensing that it was going to be negative, she'd blurted out the final phrase that Lieutenant Torres had suggested, that the Doctor had asked her to sing with him, that she had felt uncomfortable and declined. To her surprise he'd suddenly agreed and she'd quickly suggested they meet in his quarters after dinner to practice.

That evening she arrived on schedule, nervously fingering the music PADD. He'd welcomed her and made her feel at ease. The session had gone better than she had expected. Harry had been very patient, more so than the Doctor, who often carried the role of Maestro to the extreme.

She'd never sung with live accompaniment before and had not anticipated the degree to which it left for personal interpretation. At first, she'd found adding her own personal style to the music unsettling, then slowly she began to enjoy the freedom of expression. Harry had easily adapted his playing to her vocalizations. Finally, when they came to the last song she'd allowed herself full reign of the emotions it evoked in her.

Ensign Paris' earlier words had been correct. Harry's eyes were kind as he accompanied her, shining softly brown as the final song ended. He'd stood up and approached her, his words as warm as his eyes. For one moment she'd seen in them something she had not hoped to see again, caring affection.

His unexpected response emboldened her and she'd moved close to him, resting her hand on his arm as she thanked him for his assistance. Automatically, she noted another change as his pupils dilated and his complexion flushed slightly. She'd understood what it meant, desire. He still desired her. The knowledge reassured her and she'd pressed close to him, her heart beating so loudly in her chest that she'd been concerned he could hear it.

Then just as quickly his expression had changed, becoming suddenly wary. He stepped back and the moment was shattered. Placing the PADD in her hand he politely thanked her for asking for his assistance. She'd stared at him, stunned for a moment, before thinking to inquire about other rehearsals. He'd opined that she really didn't need any more practice, but she'd persisted, pointing out that she had never sung in front of the entire crew before. Finally he suggested one more rehearsal the night before the event, to which she had agreed.

The evening before their performance she had approached his quarters with trepidation. Although Ensign Paris and Lieutenant Torres had been encouraged when she'd recounted the events of their first rehearsal, she herself had felt an unusual sense of foreboding. When the door swung open she beheld the Ensign as she'd expected but also seated on his couch were Crewmen U'Lanai and Boylan, Ensign Trumari, and standing to his right, Ensign Jenkins.

Ensign Jenkins had bounded forward to greet her, explaining that Harry had told her about her discomfort at the thought of performing before a live audience. She went on to say that she'd suggested a small group of appreciative listeners might be helpful and had volunteered herself and their friends.

Seven had listened to the Ensign's explanation, glancing once at Harry who'd appeared ill at ease. She'd then thanked the Ensign and they'd begun their practice. It had gone well, she'd sung with precision, but without the expression she'd allowed herself previously. The two male crew members in particular had applauded enthusiastically after each song. However, during the performance she'd wondered if the two men believed that her vocal cords were located in her breasts, since that was where their attention was primarily focused while she sang.

As soon as possible she finished her songs and prepared to leave, after instructing Harry as to the wardrobe that Ensign Paris had suggested. He'd walked her to the door accompanied by Ensign Jenkins who uttered words of praise and encouragement. The Ensign's words might have been friendly but she'd seen a look in her eyes that could only be described as triumphant.

She'd retreated to Astrometrics to try to focus on something other than the sense of loss she felt. Finally, she'd given up and returned to Cargo Bay two to begin a regeneration cycle. It was an excuse; she simply did not want to have to think about anything until the next day.

Curiously, while all that had occurred previously was etched in her memory, today’s events were not as precise. Transitory images circled on the edges of her mind, some crystallized, and some fragmented. She attempted to sort the memories into some kind of cohesive order.

She had gone through her duties in Astrometrics by rote, thankfully alone, Harry was occupied on the bridge, and no other crew members had been assigned to her that day.

She remembered the return to Cargo Bay two at the end of the day to replicate the clothing specifications that Ensign Paris had sent to her computer.

The dress was the first she'd worn since her ill-fated date with Lieutenant Chapman. It was very different from the one that the Doctor had designed for her. She'd fingered the row of tiny pearl buttons that trailed down from the rounded neck to the end of the skirt that fell almost to her calves. The fabric itself, soft blue, overlaid with small white flowers. She recalled the feel of it, soft against her skin. The way it swirled around her legs as she walked. If she had not felt so unsettled she would have enjoyed the sensation.

Entering the holodeck and seeing Harry standing across the town square with several Operations personnel, his back toward her, unaware of her arrival.

She remembered walking through the crowd of people, both real and holographic; ignoring the looks or comments from the crew members she'd passed. Her attention focused solely on him, noting the crisp, white shirt and casual slacks he wore, and thinking that they suited him.

The moment he'd noticed the crew members with him staring over his shoulder. The expression on his face when he'd turned towards her. His eyes had widened with surprise, sweeping down her body and quickly returning to her face. He'd approved of her appearance. For a moment he seemed unable to speak. "I was beginning to wonder if you'd changed your mind."

Before she could answer him, Neelix had made a sudden appearance on the bandstand, enthusiastically ringing a bell and beckoning them all to be seated for the concert. She'd been aware of everyone surging forward to locate chairs. He'd moved forward placing his hand on the small of her back to protect her from the crush of people. She clearly recalled the feel of his warm hand through the thin fabric of her dress.

Then, "Harry." They'd both turned to see Ensign Jenkins approaching. "I saved you a seat with us. On the aisle so it'll be easy to get out when your turn comes up."

"Oh, thanks," he responded."I'll be right there." He'd turned back to face her, "There are three sets before ours, it should be about forty-five minutes or so before we're up."

She sipped her tea remembering how she'd stood, stunned, as he'd left to join Ensign Jenkins. Then she'd moved quickly to stand behind the seated crew members and await their performance.

She remembered Ensign Paris and Lieutenant Torres nodding encouragingly to her from their seats in the front row next to the Captain and Commander Chakotay. It had eased her tension slightly, knowing that they supported her. The sight of the Doctor, pointedly ignoring her since he'd discovered that she had made arrangements to sing with Ensign Kim.

She recalled the other performers taking their turns on stage. She'd watched them distractedly. Her attention alternating between the music and the sight of Ensign Jenkins smiling up into Harry’s face. She felt the ache in her abdomen increase, becoming almost a live thing, shaking her to the core.

Finally she heard Neelix announce their names. She'd watched Harry rise and then wait at the base of the bandstand for her. All she'd had to do was reach him, yet in her nervousness it appeared as though the aisle seemed to lengthen as she moved forward. His eyes were concerned; he took her arm to escort her up the steps as the others had done. "Seven?" She'd stared blankly at him. "You're trembling," he explained. "I didn't realize you were that nervous about singing."

Of course, he'd believed that it was because of the performance. "I will be fine," she'd assured him, taking her place and turning to look out at the audience.

Taking his seat, he reached for his clarinet, nodded to her, and she sang. Focusing her eyes above the crowd on a waving flag, she'd willed herself to get through the performance. She'd hesitated to even look at him, knowing that holding herself in check as she was meant that her voice while perfect was expressionless.

After the second song he'd leaned forward during the polite applause and addressed her gently. "There's nothing to be scared of Seven, sing the last song like you're singing it just to me."

And so she did. Closing her eyes, she took a calming breath and allowed herself to hope.

 

When you wish upon a star  
Makes no difference who you are  
Anything your heart desires

Will come to you

If your heart is in your dream  
No request is too extreme  
When you wish upon a star

As dreamers do

Fate is kind  
She brings to those who love  
The sweet fulfillment of  
Their secret longing

Like a bolt out of the blue  
Fate steps in and sees you though  
When you wish upon a star

Your dreams come true.

 

A wave of thunderous applause assaulted her. Startled, she'd looked up to see many of the audience members smiling as they clapped enthusiastically.

She'd stepped back to find Harry next to her, his eyes shining. Suddenly he reached down taking her right hand in his left. Her eyes had opened wide with wonder. He'd understood that she had been singing the song to him. Her heart beat wildly in her chest as he leaned in to whisper in her ear. "Thank the audience. Bow with me, the way the others did."

That was all. Simply a polite gesture of gratitude, her cheeks had flamed with embarrassment at her misconception, but she had complied.

They had been the final performers, and the concert had ended. Some crew members left to wander through the myriad of games and activities Ensign Paris had programmed. Several members of the Senior Staff encircled them as she and Harry descended the steps of the bandstand. The Captain and the Commander were particularly effusive with their congratulations.

Ensign Paris and Lieutenant Torres praise was warm and profuse. Harry had not left her side and he beamed at the words from his long time friends. Despite her earlier disappointment, his smile had warmed her, it had been too long since she had seen it bestowed on her.

"Harry." And there she was again. Ensign Jenkins moved towards him. "You were wonderful." Then she'd hugged him and pressed a kiss on his cheek. Automatically his arms had come to rest on her shoulders. Without extricating herself from his embrace she'd turned, "You sang great too, Seven."

Her stomach had convulsed and she'd had to swallow forcefully before acknowledging the Ensign's praise. "Thank you," she'd managed to whisper.

Ensign Jenkins had mentioned something about Harry winning her an animal at one of the arcade games and then they were gone.

Ensign Paris, Lieutenant Torres and she stood watching them disappear into the crowd. "I don't know what Harry sees in her," the Chief Engineer spoke out.

"She tells him that he is wonderful," Seven observed. "I have never even told him that he is acceptable."

The couple with her exchanged a meaningful glance. Ensign Paris then informed her that Harry had agreed to have a synthale with them in a short while. It would be a good time for them all to talk with him. Ensign Jenkins and the others had been 'recruited' to assist Neelix with food preparation. She'd stated that she would try to meet them but that she did not believe that Ensign Kim would care whether she was there or not.

Ensign Paris' response had been firm. Placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder he'd stated, "Oh, he cares all right. I know Harry Kim, and he definitely cares." It had occurred to her that something unexpected had come from the situation they found themselves in. Her new allies had possibly, become her friends. If she had not been so preoccupied with what they were trying to do, the thought would have pleased her.

Ensign Wildman had appeared to ask her if she could stay with her daughter for a few minutes so that she could check on some of the preparations with Neelix. She had agreed and they had walked through the town square, Naomi acting as an eager tour guide. It had been pleasant. She not spent very much time with her young friend recently, and she regretted it. She’d tried to keep her focus on Naomi and not dwell on all that had happened.

Ensign Wildman had returned later than she had expected, and even though she had hurried, by the time she reached the designated area it was apparent that Harry, Ensign Paris and Lieutenant Torres had been conversing for some time. She'd overheard his voice, raised slightly, "You have to understand that what I want, my goals, they're different than what you want."

"We want to get out of the Delta Quadrant in one piece," Lieutenant Torres stated. "And we want all our friends with us when we do."

"I concur with the Lieutenant's comment," she'd stated, announcing her presence. The three crew members had turned toward her. She'd seen in their expressions, varying degrees of relief, support and surprise.

"You too?" Harry had asked. Then he'd addressed them all, "What is this, some kind of intervention or something?"

Ensign Paris smiled. "Kind of. We just want you to know that we're concerned about what's been happening. We're still your friends, whether you like it or not."

Ensign Kim had shaken his head. "I know that. It's just that I really needed to do some things on my own. I appreciate what you guys are trying to do but there's no need to be concerned. Everything's worked out."

"So far," Lieutenant Torres countered. "You've been lucky Starfleet, but your luck's going to run out sooner or later and we don't want that to happen."

Grimacing slightly, he'd looked at all three of them before stating, "Then work with me instead of against me." The three conspirators had exchanged silent glances but had made no response.

Realizing he was not going to get the support he wanted from them, he responded. "Fine, if that's the way it's going to be." He rose from his chair and looked directly at her. "Walk with me, please. I have to talk to you."

She'd nodded and matched his stride. For a few moments there was silence, and finally he'd broken it with the words, "I get it now." The suddenness of his words stopped her movement and she waited for him to explain himself.

"What you did," he began. "Asking me to help you with the music, the rehearsal and the way you acted that night, I get it. I'll admit that for a minute there I actually thought," his voice faltered for a minute. "But thankfully I've developed a little common sense."

She'd stared uncomprehendingly at him. Harry had explained. "Tom and B'Elanna, they're concerned for me as friends. But you took it a step further. You were ready to sacrifice yourself to keep me away from harm. Tom would call it, ‘Taking one for the team?’ That's kind of noble, I guess."

Suddenly his implication was clear, a hot flush of shame suffused her body. "That is not-" she'd begun.

"It's okay," he cut her off, holding up a hand. "Don't think I didn't appreciate the offer. But for future reference, the next time you try that, make sure it's with someone you really care about. It should actually mean something and not be a means to an end." He waved at someone through the crowd. "Thanks for your concern, Seven, but don't worry, I can take care of myself. I think I'm being summoned, I'll talk to you later."

His words had struck like a physical blow. He believed that her actions were merely to keep him safe. That she had offered herself simply as a way to extricate him from his new companions, emotionlessly, like a drone completing a task in the most efficient, impersonal way possible. His casual words resonated in her mind. She felt unclean and swallowed down a visceral response from her stomach. 'Get out,' she'd thought, and headed on unsteady legs toward the doors of the holodeck.

Returning to Cargo Bay two she'd quickly divesting herself of the dress and shoes she worn, and then changed into her familiar uniform. Placing the garments she had worn in the replicator, she'd programmed it to recycle them and felt a surge of angry pleasure as they disintegrated and disappeared.

Her throat had felt painfully dry, as she'd stood staring into the empty unit. Her surroundings seemed to press in around her. She was uncomfortably aware of the darkness of the Cargo Bay, lit only with the flickering lights of the regeneration alcoves. The same lights that used to soothe her now seemed to only emphasize the shadows and her solitary existence.

That was why she had fled to the Mess hall and why she still sat alone, sipping tea and contemplating her failure.

"Seven."

His voice startled her. Setting down her cup too quickly, it clattered against the saucer and some tea splashed out, "Ensign Kim?"

"You left this in the holodeck," he said placing the PADD containing their arrangements on the counter. "Tom said you needed it."

She was tempted to say that not only did she not need it; she would prefer never see it again. Then she understood what had happened, Ensign Paris had made a 'last ditch' effort to get she and Harry to spend some time together. "Thank you," she said, reaching for a napkin to wipe up the spilled liquid.

"No problem," he shrugged. "You changed your clothes."

"Yes," she acknowledged. "They were unsuitable outside the holodeck." She focused herself on her task, the sting of his earlier comments still resonating in her mind.

"That's too bad. The dress looked nice on you." He dropped his eyes and pushed the PADD closer to her.

She studied him, realizing that it was the first time he'd openly complimented her appearance. "Thank you," she said again, still leery of his words.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I am drinking a cup of tea," she pointed out coldly.

"No, I mean why didn't you stay at the party on the holodeck?"

"Why didn't you?" she countered. "Won't Ensign Jenkins be annoyed by your  
detour?" She felt uncomfortable, as though he were studying her.

"No, Jenkins is fine with it." He smiled slightly. "She's very low maintenance."

His words stung but she wouldn't allow herself to show it. "An admirable quality I'm sure," she stated with arched brow.

"Yeah, she's got a lot of 'admirable' qualities," he asserted, casually leaning against the counter.

"Such as?" she couldn't stop herself from asking.

His brown eyes fixed on hers. "For one thing, she's not 'risk adverse.' Matter of fact," he continued, "She's made it perfectly clear she's not adverse to just about anything I'd like to do."

Seven looked down at her cup, mentally wincing at the pain of her own words being thrown back at her.

:::Jenkins to Kim:::

"Speak of the devil," Harry quipped, as he tapped his combadge. "Kim here."

:::Harry, Pete and Chase are talking about getting together a poker game in their quarters. What do you think?:::

"Sounds good, give me a few minutes. I have a few things to take care of," he replied. "Kim out."

Seven pulled the PADD towards her. "You have made your delivery. Thank you. Your friends require your presence. There is no need to delay your departure."

Harry studied her expression. "You don't like them do you?" he asked.

"How I feel about them is irrelevant. I am, however, concerned that your relationship with them is proving to be harmful to your health."

He rolled his eyes, "Not this again."

Seven continued, "Since you began your affiliation with that group of individuals your visits to sickbay have increased exponentially. You have routinely volunteered for, or master minded assignments that were far more dangerous than their projected outcome could justify."

He stiffened visibly, "The Captain didn't seem to think that the ends didn't justify the means."

Forcing back her own anger she coolly stated, "The Captain is focused on returning Voyager to the Alpha Quadrant. Her record of previous actions shows that she is not as concerned as to how she achieves that goal."

"Yeah, well the Captain had already told me she likes my new attitude, and those 'friends' that you don't like have been nothing but supportive." His accusation was unspoken.

Seven swallowed down the obstruction she felt in her throat. "If those people  
were really your friends they would care enough to know that a living Ensign is more important than a dead Lieutenant."

A grimace contorted his features. "Who the hell are you to tell me who my friends are?"

She faced him defiantly, allowing her anger to take precedence over her pain. "I am someone who cares for you. At one time you considered me your friend."

He seemed to struggle to control his anger and his eyes burned into hers. His voice was harsh as he spat out, "You’ve no right to say that! You have no idea what that word really means." For a moment he seemed ready to continue his tirade. Then, he turned and walked quickly away.

The sound of the Mess hall doors swishing closed seemed to create a vacuum in the room. The silence mocked her. He was gone. She was alone.

She had wanted to rectify the situation instead she had made it worse. She had failed. She had failed before, but while her previous mistakes had caused her to feel embarrassment and sometimes shame, they had never caused her pain.

The thought of him with Ensign Jenkins make her ache, but the thought of him continuing on the course he seemed focused on overwhelmed her. The enormity of his loss staggered her. She felt her eyes began to sting and her nasal passages begin to swell. Bringing her hands to her face she felt tears dampen her fingers. Soft sobs escaped her throat as she released the emotions she had been fighting to suppress.

"Here."

Looking up she saw Harry standing again on the other side of the counter holding out a napkin. She stared uncomprehending at it.

His voice was gentle. "It's for your eyes. Wipe them and then blow your nose," he instructed her.

Taking the offered napkin she complied, then discarded it. "Thank you."

He held out a fresh napkin, which she accepted. His expression was both saddened and bewildered, "Why Seven?"

"Why?" she repeated.

His voice dropped to a whisper, "Yes, why am I worth taking a risk on now?"

"Is that what you believed?" she demanded. "That I did not wish to pursue a relationship with you because you were not worthy of me?"

He appeared uncomfortable, "It doesn't matter," he shrugged.

"It does!" she insisted, placing her arms on the counter and leaning forward. "That was not--"

"It doesn't matter," he cut her off sharply."What matters is that what happened made me take a good hard look at myself. When I did, I realized how pathetic I was and decided it was time to make some changes."

She shook her head, "There was nothing wrong with the person you were."

"Right, that's why I was the standing joke of Voyager," he grimaced. "That's why no one that I cared for wanted to be with me." His voice faltered for a moment. "That's why I was alone."

His heartfelt words cut into her as she felt fresh tears trickle down her cheeks. She raised her eyes, wiping them with a napkin before speaking. "There was nothing wrong with the person you were. You showed yourself to be a warm, kind and openly caring person. Those are admirable qualities. It was not your fault that the people you cared for did not appreciate them. It was our fault, my fault. I miss that Harry Kim. I wish he would return so that I can show him."

His eyes darkened and his voice became hoarse. "I'm not sure he exists anymore."

Seven looked down at her teacup, not trusting herself to speak for a moment. There was nothing she could say, he had to find his way back on his own. Finally, she looked up and met his eyes. "Why did you return?"

He squared his shoulders. Anger still evident in his voice. "I was mad, I wanted to yell at you or...I don't know. The idea that you, off all people, had the gall to tell me about friends."

Seven swallowed before replying, "You were right to be angry. I did not truly understand the concept of friendship until recently. When we spoke that night after my date with Lieutenant Chapman, I mistakenly assumed that I would always have your friendship. You had always offered it to me, even when you wanted more. I took that gift and gave nothing back."

Harry shook his head, "That's not true-" he began.

Holding up her hand she continued, "Allow me to finish. My comments that night hurt you. Please know how sorry I am."

Her words drew his attention, he watched her intently as she continued. "I was ignorant to believe that I understood relationships. I did not understand your actions then, but slowly I realized that while you had given your friendship openly and honestly since I first arrived on Voyager, I had treated it for the most part as a burden; something that manifested itself in inefficient conversation and needless requests to participate in irrelevant activities."

"I did not realize that something as precious as friendship must be nurtured, or it will wither and die. I may have called you a friend, but I did not act as one." She sipped her drink again trying to rid herself of the obstruction in her throat. Her cheeks flushed as she continued. "What you accused me of in the holodeck, of offering myself to you to keep you safe, you know now that it was not true?"

He nodded slowly."I know that now. I just couldn't imagine any other reason why, I mean--" his voice trailed off.

Seven studied his expression. "You understand now that my feelings for you have changed, that I hoped to form a romantic affiliation?" He nodded slowly, and she continued, "Your feelings have also changed. It is painful, but I understand. However, I am asking you to share your friendship with me again. I promise that this time I will treat it with the respect it deserves."

He stared at her, his eyes glistening in the light. "I, I don't know what I want right now Seven."

She nodded. Uncertainty was preferable to an outright refusal.

The sudden chirp of a combadge broke the silence.

:::Jenkins to Kim:::

Harry dropped his eyes as he tapped his combadge, "Kim here."

:::Did you get lost on your way over?:::

His eyes flickered and he seemed to grope for words. "I'm going to have to take a rain check. I have an early meeting in the morning. I think I'm just going to grab a cup of tea and turn in early."

:::Did you want some company?:::

A slight smile curved his lips. "I wouldn't get much rest if I had company."

:::Probably not, but I'm fairly certain I'm worth losing a little sleep over:::

Seven's stomach twisted unpleasantly as unwanted images overtook her. She did not trust her hands to convey her mug to her mouth without shaking, so she simply looked down into the inky liquid.

"I don't doubt it. But I need to conserve my strength. Thanks for the offer though. Kim out." He paused for a moment before looking across the counter at her. "Are you going to be all right?" he asked, concern evident in his voice

"I will be fine," she said, carefully picking up her cup and sipping from it. "Am I to understand that the 'new' Harry Kim now approves of telling lies to his friends?"

"Lies?" he repeated innocently."I didn't lie. Is there enough tea in that pot for me too?"

"There is," she nodded with understanding. A warm flush of relief flooded her system, and for the first time in many days the ache in her abdomen seemed to subside somewhat. Quickly she pulled out a second mug and poured the hot liquid into it. "I recommend a half teaspoon of sugar for the tea."

He raised a brow in surprise. "Sugar in your tea? Isn't that irrelevant?"

Understanding that he was teasing, she nodded, "It is, but as Neelix informed me, it adds another dimension to the beverage, and I have recently come to understand that adding dimension is a good thing."

He moved to seat himself across from her at one of the counter stools and accepted the beverage. She stood on her side of the counter, and watched him stir in some sugar and sip from his cup. His eyes met hers, then dropped, an uneasy silence hanging over them.

Seven took a deep breath, understanding that there was still more to do. "Ensign Kim, what is new?"

It pained her to see again the sudden wariness of his expression. "Not much," he replied.

The irony of the situation was not lost on her. How many times had he attempted to initiate conversation with her? A new tactic was called for. Facing him squarely she stated, "Ensign, according to the Doctor's rules of conversational etiquette, when a person is asked 'What is new?' said person, after replying to the question, is required to ask 'What is new?' in return."

A glimmer of amusement softened his features. "Far be it for me to break the rules. So Seven, what's new with you?"

She nodded approvingly at his response. "I have asked Commander Chakotay to assign me permanent quarters."

Surprised, Harry froze, his cup half way to his mouth, "Really? Why now?"

"As I said, I felt it was time to add more dimension," she replied. "It will take several weeks before I can inhabit them, as the quarters will need to be reconfigured for my Astrometrics console, and I have to make a decision about whether I am able to move my regenerative alcove or simply return to Cargo Bay two for regeneration."

"What about a third alternative?" he asked. Leaning forward with interest, his eyes shining with warmth and intelligence he continued, "A smaller, less cumbersome form of alcove. The Borg don't have to worry about space saving but I'm fairly sure that with all the parts we have and some Starfleet know-how we can build something that you could keep in your quarters." He took a breath, seeming almost embarrassed by his eagerness. "You wouldn't have to go back to Cargo Bay two at all," he added. He reached for the music PADD and began to tap on the keys.

She asked questions, he answered them, and together they built on each other’s ideas and thought out new configurations. Seven remembered the word he had taught her when they worked in unison like this, ‘Brainstorming.’ It felt good. Slowly, another thought began to form and she looked suspiciously at him.

He looked up puzzled, “What?”

“This is something you have worked on previously? She asked cautiously.

A guilty expression crossed his features. “Okay, you got me,” he admitted. “When we first started spending time together I thought about ways to make it work for you to have your own quarters.”

“You never shared these ideas with me,” she pointed out.

Shame-faced he said, “Honestly, Seven, at the time I didn’t know how you’d take the idea.”

Soberly she answered, “Your instincts were probably correct. When I first came aboard Voyager I would not have appreciated the gesture.”

They had exchanged ideas for 52.3 minutes until the teapot was emptied. The conversation had moved from regeneration alcoves, to the relevance of decorating, to some of the peculiar things crew members kept in their quarters. There had been two uneasy silences, the longest lasting for fourteen seconds, but several times he had grinned, and once when a humorous comment of his made her smile, his face lit up with pleasure. It affected her internally, warming her to her fingertips.

Later he walked her to Cargo Bay two and wished her goodnight. There was a momentary awkwardness. She remembered the Doctor’s conversation rules; looking squarely into his eyes she reached out a hand for him to shake, “Thank you for the pleasant evening.”

His mouth quirked with humor and he reached out to clasp her hand firmly. “You’re welcome. I would like to do it again, soon.” His hand held hers for a moment longer than was necessary.

“That would be acceptable,” she responded with a slight smile. “Good night, Harry.” As she prepared to enter her alcove she hummed the melody of her earlier song.

When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.

 

END


End file.
